Moving Further From Beloved Artists
Last week during my bi-monthly radio show I played a song that I often turned to for solace, Ryan Adam's 'To Be Without You'. A song that beautifully blends melancholy with hints of hopefulness, feelings that are often felt in the late hours of the evening. The next day, the New York Times released a heartwrenching article bringing to light allegations of his emotional and sexual abuse towards several women in the music industry.
Heartbroken, I had difficulty falling asleep that night. The following day even more women came forward with troubling stories about Adams. When someone's work is a constant mainstay in your life, knowing you may never be able to find that same solace in their work ever again, has and continues to be difficult. But not as difficult as what these women had to go through.
I first was drawn to Adam's music as I was apprenticing to become a radio DJ at the local campus radio station, when I heard his early band Whiskeytown's '16 Days', and was immediately drawn to their approach to alternative country. Especially when I saw that the band was fronted by both a man and woman.
After being hooked to the sound on Whiskeytown's album 'Stranger Almanac'. I immediately dove into Adams's extensive solo catalog of material. This was a time when I was feeling my adolescence slip away, furthermore the confusion of entering adulthood, feelings that are represented heavily in Adam's lyrics. We all know the importance of seeing some sort of representation of yourself to motivate you and at this time in my life, Adams became that kind of figure for me. Blending Springsteen style folk-rock, hints of prime college-radio alternative rock and vulnerable lyrics not afraid to showcase his emotional side, his music was the perfect match for someone like me. It wasn't just the music, but the man himself who interested me, using social media to interact with fans, express his love of Star Wars, pinball, and favorite music. For guys like me, seeing the denim, flannel shirt and frizzy hair man, who not just wore his array of musical influences on his shoulders, but also his interests was a part of the appeal to him as an artist.
I never considered Adams to be a genius as many have, but someone that I saw a reflection of myself in. While I was intrigued by the man, it's no secret that Adams has a reputation for being a difficult person. Constantly acting in ways that an ordinary person wouldn't be able to get away with. With many fans (include myself) believing those actions to be a byproduct of his troubled childhood, Meniere's disease, tinnitus, and struggles with mental health. In fact, it was those struggles being a key reason so many of us gravitated towards his music. But stories of emotion and sexual abuse are no joke. Sometimes it's easy to say, "I can separate the art from the artists", but with someone like Adams whose music is so emotionally charged, it's difficult when the art is the artist.
While the feeling of learning the darker secrets of those you admire is no stranger these days, none of that had hit me to this extent. The most similar being the news of the fall of Louis C.K. While I didn't see Louis as a reflection of myself, his social commentary and ability to get a room laughing at difficult subjects was something I turned to in troubling situations.
I've learned to make peace with no longer continuing to listen to Louis's work, and finding other comedians to listen to. But music is different. It's harder to get emotionally attached to a joke than it is a song. While I've been able to fill the void with other comedians, it's more difficult when you attach certain songs (especially emotionally driven ones) to certain times in your life and view those songs as a companion to your life.
With the Ryan Adams story coming to attention, so has a series of articles addressing how the music industry is filled with similar stories yet to reach the public and the impending domino effect that many other beloved artists are about to go fall down as well. Especially with being no secret that rockstars attraction to younger women and the mistreatment of women seems to have been part of Rock 'n Roll right from its very beginning.
As a self-confessed music nerd, I am all too aware that many of our favorite musicians are not the best people and with the news of Adams breaking out, I have no doubt that in the growing weeks more secrets of beloved musicians are going to be uncovered. It's going to be difficult with all the different merchandise and memories attached to an artist being forever tainted. Much like comedy, I'm sure I will be able to fill that void with other artists. While it might hurt for us as listeners and fans, the pain we feel won't be close to that of the victims.
Heartbroken, I had difficulty falling asleep that night. The following day even more women came forward with troubling stories about Adams. When someone's work is a constant mainstay in your life, knowing you may never be able to find that same solace in their work ever again, has and continues to be difficult. But not as difficult as what these women had to go through.
I first was drawn to Adam's music as I was apprenticing to become a radio DJ at the local campus radio station, when I heard his early band Whiskeytown's '16 Days', and was immediately drawn to their approach to alternative country. Especially when I saw that the band was fronted by both a man and woman.
After being hooked to the sound on Whiskeytown's album 'Stranger Almanac'. I immediately dove into Adams's extensive solo catalog of material. This was a time when I was feeling my adolescence slip away, furthermore the confusion of entering adulthood, feelings that are represented heavily in Adam's lyrics. We all know the importance of seeing some sort of representation of yourself to motivate you and at this time in my life, Adams became that kind of figure for me. Blending Springsteen style folk-rock, hints of prime college-radio alternative rock and vulnerable lyrics not afraid to showcase his emotional side, his music was the perfect match for someone like me. It wasn't just the music, but the man himself who interested me, using social media to interact with fans, express his love of Star Wars, pinball, and favorite music. For guys like me, seeing the denim, flannel shirt and frizzy hair man, who not just wore his array of musical influences on his shoulders, but also his interests was a part of the appeal to him as an artist.
Image Source: Reuters
I never considered Adams to be a genius as many have, but someone that I saw a reflection of myself in. While I was intrigued by the man, it's no secret that Adams has a reputation for being a difficult person. Constantly acting in ways that an ordinary person wouldn't be able to get away with. With many fans (include myself) believing those actions to be a byproduct of his troubled childhood, Meniere's disease, tinnitus, and struggles with mental health. In fact, it was those struggles being a key reason so many of us gravitated towards his music. But stories of emotion and sexual abuse are no joke. Sometimes it's easy to say, "I can separate the art from the artists", but with someone like Adams whose music is so emotionally charged, it's difficult when the art is the artist.
Image: Jessica Chou/Buzzfeed
While the feeling of learning the darker secrets of those you admire is no stranger these days, none of that had hit me to this extent. The most similar being the news of the fall of Louis C.K. While I didn't see Louis as a reflection of myself, his social commentary and ability to get a room laughing at difficult subjects was something I turned to in troubling situations.
Image: Cara Howe/Netflix
I've learned to make peace with no longer continuing to listen to Louis's work, and finding other comedians to listen to. But music is different. It's harder to get emotionally attached to a joke than it is a song. While I've been able to fill the void with other comedians, it's more difficult when you attach certain songs (especially emotionally driven ones) to certain times in your life and view those songs as a companion to your life.
With the Ryan Adams story coming to attention, so has a series of articles addressing how the music industry is filled with similar stories yet to reach the public and the impending domino effect that many other beloved artists are about to go fall down as well. Especially with being no secret that rockstars attraction to younger women and the mistreatment of women seems to have been part of Rock 'n Roll right from its very beginning.
As a self-confessed music nerd, I am all too aware that many of our favorite musicians are not the best people and with the news of Adams breaking out, I have no doubt that in the growing weeks more secrets of beloved musicians are going to be uncovered. It's going to be difficult with all the different merchandise and memories attached to an artist being forever tainted. Much like comedy, I'm sure I will be able to fill that void with other artists. While it might hurt for us as listeners and fans, the pain we feel won't be close to that of the victims.
Hey Daniel!
ReplyDeleteI seriously relate to your blog post this week. I don't know why we want to always believe the best in people, especially when that person is our favorite musical artist. You're right, these days it's almost become a norm within itself day after day finding out who else has gotten away with mistreating women. I do think it's about time that people like Ryan Adams, Louis C.K., and R Kelly are held responsible for their actions. But, I don have to admit that every time the remix to Ignition comes on I have to physically tell myself to turn it off because it's wrong to support an artist recently convicted for ten counts of sexual assault, mainly to minors, but we still say it's a good song--because it is.
-Rachelle